If You Say Go…

If you say go, we will go.
If you say wait, we will wait.
If you say step out on the water, and they say it can’t be done we’ll fix our eyes on you and we will come.
Your ways are higher than our ways, and the plans that you have made are good and true.
If you call us to the fire, you will not withdraw your hand.  We’ll gaze into the flames and look for you.

Many of you sing this song in different church settings.  In the last year, this song has become one of my personal favorites.  Not because I like the harmony or the rhythm, I like it because it speaks to me and the things that my family is currently going through.

If you say go…
I never dreamed I would do foreign missions long-term, but our family is leaving for Peru in one year for the long haul (at least 10 years).  This has been a hard decision for me to make, but after a trip to the city of Arequipa last summer with my team and family, I felt that God definitely told me to go.  I do not doubt his leading us there.

If you say wait…
Our team has had a lot of downs to cope with in the last year.  One of those downs include a group of people telling us that they didn’t feel that we were ready to leave for the field.  That was very hard to swallow considering that we have spent the last three years preparing ourselves (finishing school, working with a hispanic church, working with teammates, etc.).  We prayed many prayers in this situation, spoke with mentors, and came to the conclusion that this group was not the voice of God.  We should go, but that little twinge of doubt always lingers.  How do we know when God is truly saying to wait?  This has become a big struggle to me.

If you say, “Step out on the water…
I read a book in college that really contributed to a time of spiritual formation in my life called The Life You’ve Always Wanted, by John Ortberg.  I decided to read a second book of his titled If you Want to Walk On Water You’ve Got To Step Out of the Boat.  Overall, the book was okay, but I realized in reading his words that my boat is the security I have in my family.  Well, on this journey with Greg to Peru, I want to walk on water.  This requires a great deal of faith.  My family means the world to me and they are the biggest sacrifice I am making to go.  So in doubting whether or not God says wait, I ask him, “But I said I’ll give it up to walk on water.  Am I still missing something?”

Your ways…
God has already taught me that his ways are higher than my own.  If you ever want to hear my testimony, I can tell you all about how I learned this lesson once already.  It’s funny how we have to learn the same lesson again and again.  Greg has been the original former of these plans to go to Peru for many years now.  Where we are now, he could never of dreamed would be the scenario.  But it is what it is, and I firmly believe that God has walked with us the entire journey.  I told Greg that I am so tired of disappointments.  It seems like the last year has been full of them.  But I need to look at these outcomes differently.  I am disappointed because of how MY WAY has not worked out.  But it’s not about my way is it.  His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness…

If you call us to the fire…
I determined last night that the fire our family is going though at this time has been very smoky.  It is hard to see through the smoke.  But when the burning is complete and the smoke is cleared out, I can see a finished product.  We are not totally to that point, but I feel like a lot of the smoke has cleared out.  I have prayed a prayer for transformation for our family in this coming year.  I want to be purified and transformed so that I can seek out God’s will without blemish.  The fire is not an easy place to be, but God calls us to go there with him.

I have no pictures of Ana.  This definitely ranks in my serious list of posts.  I wanted to think out loud and share with you some thoughts going through my mind.  I am very prayerful about so many things right now, and I have come to God crying out on numerous occasions here recently.  I want the Holy Spirit to my my guide.  If any of you have words of wisdom you can impart, bring it on.  Ask me in a year how the fire worked out.  We move to Tyler, TX to work with the church in less than a week.  Big changes are happening for us.

Please pray for the people of Peru.  The city hit the hardest, Ica, sits about halfway between Lima and Arequipa.  I have not heard any reports about the city of Arequipa, but please keep the country heavy upon our hearts in your prayers.

If You Say Go…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s